It’s been a while, a long while, since I wrote. I’ve been so caught up and enjoying life that I hadn’t really thought about it.
But things have been really good. Yea sure there was a few things that wasn’t so good but everything worked out just fine.
I have been comparing myself to who I am now to who I was just a few months ago. I have grown more mature and grown more into myself.
There was a moment that changed it all. This moment happened about a month ago.
I was in Ruston helping a friend move and Michael was hanging with his sister but had to return to go to work. I hadn’t heard from him in a few hours and I thought nothing of it. Then I got a call from Michael’s dad. I answered it and Michael told me the news. He got into a wreck.
He told me he was fine but he had to go and he’d call me in a few minutes. What seemed like forever passed and he hasn’t called me back. So I called him and he started crying because he felt bad for wrecking the car. (We had just started renting to own the car). I told him the car didn’t matter. I didn’t car about the car. Cars are replaceable but he isn’t. He still felt bad. But he once again had to go to talk to the sheriff. I was stuck in Ruston still and had no way of getting back. I couldn’t be there for him when he needed me. But later that night I finally had a ride. I couldn’t wait to get back to him for so many reasons. He wouldn’t go to the hospital without me. So as soon as I got back we went straight there. They took x-ray of him and everything came back good, thankfully. We had a spat with one of the nurses because she was trying to force the shot onto him. He has a phobia of needles so he wasn’t taking it. So when she came through the door with the shot he started freaking out and I wasn’t going to have him go through that. So it took everything I had not to be rude or aggressive so as nicely as I could I told her no (again). She then tried to leave the shot on the counter in case he changed his mind. I held back once again and told her no and she needed to take it out of the room. She finally listens and puts it away. We get him discharged and get him home. He was in so much pain and it broke my heart to see him that way.
I was so scared. I almost lost him. The sheriff told him that if he had worn his seatbelt then he wouldn’t have made it. The airbags in the car were on recall apparently. The airbags had a piece of sharp metal in it. So having the seatbelt on the metal would have killed him.
If he would have died, I have no idea what I would do without him. He has become such a huge part of my life.
So I took that experience and decided that I had to start looking at the bright side of everything. No matter what it is. There is always a bright side. He is alive and nothing else matters.
So I have taken advantage over every opportunity to spend time with everyone that I love and care about. I don’t get mad anymore. I just don’t see the point in it anymore. No need in wasting my energy of anger when I can just live and be happy. Life isn’t perfect and nothing is going to work out perfectly so I’m just rolling with it and just being grateful of all the time I do get with him and everyone else.
I stopped wasting my time on those who just want to run their mouths and start drama or just want to use me for whatever reason. It’s not worth it. I don’t mind helping people but being used like a doormat I refuse it. So whenever I feel as of I’m being used I talk to that person and try and sort through itit but not every time it works out so nicely. But that’s fine. I can’t have people like that in my life.
Even all the side effects of being an empath has gotten easier and better to deal with. I don’t feel like it’s controlling me anymore. If and when the emotions do get out of hand I can still keep calm and deal with it a lot easier then I could before. I haven’t even been meditating or shielding lately either. I smudge every now and then just out of habit but I don’t feel the need to.
So after all the growing and changing I’ve done I’ve become way more protective, loving, confident, open, and happy.
So to whoever was watching over Michael that day I thank you! Thank you for saving his life. I will never be able to truly describe how much he means to me nor be able to describe how much I love him. I have never experienced so much love for one person on so many levels.
So many good things has happened to us lately and I’m so grateful for each and every single one of them.
One of the good things that’s happened is we got a new dog. We named her Ky Alue. She is so beautiful. But it breaks my heart to look at her sometimes because she’s so skidish of everything and everyone. We have gotten her to be a little bit less but anyone can tell she’s been scared. It breaks my heart to think that someone could be so mean to her. But she’s in great hands. We’ve been taking good care of her. We’ve gotten her to be less aggressive, territorial, and even gain a little bit of weight. She loves Alistair. They play all the time. If they aren’t playing then they’re asleep.
I’m so happy with my life. Yea sure it’s not perfect but no one’s life is. So I don’t regret any of the decisions I’ve made in my life. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so grateful each and every single day.